20190925 SAVERS for WEDNESDAY, 1ST DAY IN AMERICAN FORK

SILENCE
Tried to silence brain for 60 seconds.


AFFIRMATIONS

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
4. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
5. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
6. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
7. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
8. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
9. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.

VISUALIZATION

175 by 10/28


WT:  192.2 on Chrissy's bathroom scale.

EXERCISE

Did 1+ exercise routine for 9/25

1. ankle/wrist circles 70
2. toe/finger stretches 70
3. bicycle crunches 70
4. back on floor w/legs up wall 3 70-second sets
5. shoulder rolls 70
6. push-ups 2 sets of 25 (since today is 9/25)

READING, WRITING

Read 60 seconds in THE SONG OF ACHILLES by Madeline Miller.  She describes the birth of a son to a King and a Simple girl..... so in this environment, apparently, males were king, females were subordinate, and "simple girls" were pitied.  They had a baby boy, but the nurse handed the simple mother a pillow (why, the author does not explain), but she only hugs it.

This is all confusingly written.  Perhaps the situation will become clearer as I continue reading.

***************

Well, it's still possible that David's Michael's deal could come through this morning.  The last email indicates that such will be the case.  We'll see.

But at least I'll have a quick lunch with David, and will hopefully further our plans for working together.  Now that I'm FREE from Dr. Pruitt.  YAY!!!!!!!!!!

I might not have any money, but it sure does feel good to be moving on to other vistas.

20190924 SAVERS for TUESDAY in LAS VEGAS chez STEVE WRIGHT

(NOTE:  Last night, I had a long talk with Steve Wright, who is graciously hosting my overnight needs while travelling between SoCal and Utah.  He remarked that I looked like I was in good shape, and I explained that it has to do with the weight loss I've had over the past 13 months.  My explanations inspired him, but they also inspired ME!  So I've done my SAVERS for TUESDAY, here in Steve's living room.)

SILENCE

Tried to silence my brain for 60 seconds.

AFFIRMATIONS

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
4. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
5. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
6. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
7. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
8. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
9. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.

VISUALIZATION

175 by 10/28

(can't weigh myself while at Steve's)

EXERCISE

Did my full (not 1+) routine for a Tuesday:

1. ankle/wrist circles 70
2. toe/finger stretches 70
3. bicycle crunches 70
4. shoulder rolls 70
5. (no way to do inversion table, but stretched out on the floor for a while)
6. squats 70

READING, WRITING

Read for 60 seconds in MEXICO DESDE EL AIRE by Antonio Attini.  I read the introductory paragraph, in Spanish, so it went a bit slower.  I need to look up some words, but basically, it says that the author Attini lives in Spain, but wanted to capture Mexico from the air.  It gives a bunch of his life projects and tells when he did them.

*********

I'm "on pins and needles" today, knowing that David's Michael said last week that he'd have money by yesterday.  But I didn't hear from David all day.  Last night, Steve W. gave me a video about the giant inscense ceremony at the Cathedral of Saint James in Spain.  I know that David & Jeanne's "tribe" will be going there in a week to walk the San Diego (?) trail.  I'm totally jealous!

But the reality is this:

I didn't hear MONEY news from David/Michael yesterday.

David texted last night that he wanted to talk today (likely during my commute from Vegas to SLC).

He didn't CALL, so there is likely nothing substantial to report.

I'll drive today to SLC, and have lunch with David on Wednesday.

There will be no news from him during his trip to Spain, even if there IS money news, because he'll be out of touch during his 2-3 week trip.

When he gets back, there will STILL be no news.

I'll likely be driving back to SoCal, STILL wondering if this DAVID DEAL will ever really happen.

*sigh*

It's really hard to keep holding on.

20190919 SAVERS for THURSDAY, LAST DAY AT DR PRUITT'S HDA!! YAY!!!!

SILENCE

Tried to silence my brain for 60 seconds.  Mildly more successful than yesterday.

AFFIRMATIONS

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
4. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
5. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
6. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
7. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
8. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
9. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.

Also said aloud for 60 seconds.

VISUALIZATION

175 by 10/28

EXERCISE

Did my 1+ routine for Sept 19:

1. ankle/wrist circles 70
2. toe/finger stretches 70
3. bicycle crunches 70
4. shoulder rolls 70
5. inversion table 3 70-second sets
6. squats 2 sets of 19 (since today is 9/19)

READING, WRITING

Read for 60 seconds in SAPIENS by Yuval Noah Harari.  He says that the sense of individualism is embedded in our architecture.  A typical house has smaller compartments, and children are given privacy, and the ability to shut out the rest of the world.  This results in reinforcing the individualism they gradually learn and adopt.

Interesting idea - hadn't considered this before.  I've always valued my privacy, if for nothing more than to be alone with my body, to learn about it, etc.

In Vienna (I was 11 - 15 years old), I recall locking my bedroom door so I could masturbate in privacy.  One time Dad came and didn't knock - he just tried the handle, couldn't come in, so he called out my name.  I wasn't "presentable" so I said "just a minute."  When I opened the door, he asked me why I had locked it.  I said "it's just a habit."  He dropped it after that.

In Montreal (I was 15 - 18 years old), we had a new house we rented from an Egyptian Jew (Mom's description; his last name was Sassoon).  He installed bedroom doorknobs with no way to lock the door from inside the rooms.  My father asked him if it would be okay to install small slide bolts so we could lock the doors.  Sassoon said "yes," so we did.

This was a strange thing to me, since I had thought Dad & Mom would want to enter whenever they wanted.  But maybe he did it so that I could have privacy to masturbate?  Maybe he did it so Dad & Mom would have privacy to have sex (they were 57 & 54 at the time).

Well, I revisited some old moments in my life.  I don't know what significance it has, other than that the ideas in SAPIENS sparked the memories.

O & O

20190918 SAVERS for WEDNESDAY

SILENCE

Tried to silence brain; failed; but glad I tried.

AFFIRMATIONS

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
4. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
5. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
6. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
7. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
8. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.

Also said aloud for 60 seconds.

VISUALIZATION

175 by 10/28

EXERCISE

Did my 1+ routine for 10/18:

1. ankle/wrist circles 70
2. toe/finger stretches 70
3. bicycle crunches 70
4. shoulder rolls 70
5. inversion table 3 70-second sets
6. push-ups 2 sets of 18 = 36

READING, WRITING

Read for 60 seconds in SAPIENS by Yuval Noah Harari.  He says there are 3 factors that prevent humankind from knowing that their "imagined order" exists only in their imagination:

a)  The "imagined order" is embedded in the material world

Harari states categorically that the 'imagined order' exists only in our minds (he does not prove this), and that it can be woven into the material reality around us.  He then states that most Westerners believe in individualism (that we've just as much right as anyone else, that our own opinions of ourselves are what matters, etc.)

I'm wondering where he's going with this; will he prove somehow that individualism is merely imagined?  How could he possibly prove it?  Right now, I will only accept the idea as his opinion; I will not adopt it until I am convinced.

********

Will TODAY be the D-DAY I've been waiting for so long?  We'll see.  Probably not, but we'll see.

b)  The "imagined order" shapes our desires

c)  The "imagined order" is inter-subjective

20190917 SAVERS for TUESDAY

SILENCE

Tried to silence my brain for 60 seconds; plugged ears with fingers.  Still could not block out some sounds, and certainly I had thoughts that I tried to chase away.  Ainsi soit-il.

AFFIRMATIONS

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
4. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
5. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
6. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
7. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
8. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
9. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.

Also said aloud for 60 seconds.

VISUALIZATION

175 by 10/28

EXERCISE

Did my 1+ routine for September 17:

1. ankle/wrist circles 70
2. toe/finger stretches 70
3. bicycle crunches 70
4. shoulder rolls 70
5. inversion table 3 70-second sets
6. squats 2 sets of 17

READING, WRITING

Read 60 seconds in SAPIENS by Yuval Noah Harari.  He says that societal evolution has come about as it has because those in control, having IMAGINED gods, principles, etc, do not allow those below them to ever know that it is all IMAGINED.

Rather, they remind the masses non-stop that their IMAGINED gods, principles, etc. are real.  The messages of divinity, equality, economics.... are drilled into the minds and hearts of the masses.

These "reminders" are what I call AFFIRMATIONS.  I use the idea to change/improve my behavior, and hopefully also my entire being:  mental, spiritual, emotional, physical.

So what should I make of this "conspiracy" about which Harari is writing?  Is it conceivable that the elites conspire(d) to create this delusion?  Or is there REALLY a Creator-God?  Are we REALLY created (un)equal?  Should I accept his proposal that all we hold dear is really the product of the IMAGINATION of the elite, to gain control and remain rich?

Asking questions without at least an attempt to think through an answer is frustrating, but it's likely the song of the ages of authors who write about the purpose of life.

************

We should hear from Michael today.  We'll see.

BREATHING

20190916 SAVERS for MONDAY

No, 20190827 was NOT the day.  *sigh*

SAVERS for MONDAY (I don't know why but I'm starting my routine again)

SILENCE

Tried to silence brain for 60 seconds.  Thoughts kept creeping in, including the fact that thoughts kept creeping in.  Hard to block out sounds with my fingers, and not wonder how effective it is.  Shook my brain several times.  Conclusion:  at least I gave it a try.

AFFIRMATIONS

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
4. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
5. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
6. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
7. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
8. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
9. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.

Also said aloud for 60 seconds.

VISUALIZATION

175 by 10/28

EXERCISE

Did my 1+ routine for 09/16:

1. ankle/wrist circles 70
2. toe/finger stretches 70
3. bicycle crunches 70
4. shoulder rolls 70
5. inversion table 3 70-second sets
6. push-ups 2 sets of 16 = 32  (today is the 16th)

READING, WRITING

Read 60 seconds in SAPIENS by Yuval Noah Harari.  He says that nothing (i.e., Christianity, democracy, capitalism) would have lasted for longer periods if those at the top of the social pyramid did not BELIEVE in their creeds.  Cynics generally do not believe in anything, so they are generally not at the head of anything.

Agreed.

************

Today's another "is this the day?" day.  I'm extremely doubtful that it will turn out to be "D-Day" (i.e., David's Deal Day).  But I'd love to be wrong.

Yesterday I re-listened to Joseph Krammer's tapes (Body Electric) about how important it is to breathe, and I followed his on-tape group breathing exercise.  I'm renewed on focusing on breathing.  I tried it this morning, but not a "full exercise."  I'm guessing I'll somehow incorporate it into my SAVERS routine.

BREATHING

Did focused breathing for 5 minutes:  3 short, 1 long, 3 short, 1 long, 3 short..... etc., for 5 minutes.