20200229 GRATITUDE REVIEW

1.  FAMILY
Joe for staying in touch with me.
Chrissy for being a good mom.
Ada for dancing and smiling.
Ethan for reading achieving high marks.
Elliot for music and sports
Oliver for sports and taste
Lisa for yoga
Rodney for being true to himself.
Lyla for many talents.
Eli for sensitivity
Caleb for his smile.
Teresa for high achievement
Siblings for being there
In-laws for being there
Cousins for being there
N&Ns for being there


1.a.  Dead Family
Dad for his example on how to live a good life.
Mom for her little sayings.
Dad for his faithfulness.
Bob for his genius.
Tom for his football.
Alicia for her patience.
Kathleen for her music
Millie for her calligraphy.

2.  FRIENDS
David for his kindness
Jeannie for her talents
Dr. Pruitt for teaching me about gratitude review.
George for his persistence
Eric & Arno for loving each other
John & Paul for accepting me into their lives.
Sikoki & Richard for loving and living life.
Bill for his many talents
Chad for paying the rent on time.

2.a.  Dead Friends
Frank White for teaching me the basics of singing & music.
Sally Stephens for loving me even though I was gay

3.  SELF
For good health
For shelter
For Freedom
For ice cream
For technology
For a functioning brain
For food
For sex
For a warm and comfortable bed
For living in Los Angeles
For clean air

20200229 SLLLAVERS for SATURDAY, LEAP DAY

SILENCE

Tried to silence my thoughts for 70 seconds; it's still not easy, but I'm still trying.

LLL

LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH

AFFIRMATIONS

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
4. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
5. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
6. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
7. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
8. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
9. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
10. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.

Also said aloud for 70 seconds.

VISUALIZATION

I weighed 194.2 this morning.

183 by 3/23/20

EXERCISE

Did my full base-70 routine for Saturday, 2/29/20:

1. ankle/wrist circles 70
2. toe/finger stretches 70
3. bicycle crunches 70
4. shoulder rolls 70
5. inversion table 3 70-second sets
6. squats 70

READING, WRITING

Read for 70 seconds in SAPIENS by Yuval Noah Harari.  He reasons that, in ancient Greece, women, who had wombs, were not permitted to participate in life to the same extent that men did, merely because they have wombs.  (Perhaps it was not "just" having a womb - perhaps there were/are other accompanying attributes.)  Today, in Greece, it's considered normal for women to design jewelry, to build buildings, to hold public office, etc.  Having a womb does not disqualify them from almost anything that men have traditionally done.  He adds that still, only 12% of public offices are held by women today in Greece.

Read for 70 seconds in YOU ARE A WRITER by Jeff Goins.  He says I should adopt the idea that as a writer, I am only writing for ONE person:  me.

I believe he will soon relate this concept to how to end the dilemma:  staring at a blank page.

I'm thinking, right now, that this process of "becoming a writer" is good.  But I'm also thinking that it seems to me that originally, someone had an idea, and only THEN wrote about it.  It seems to me that I am reversing this:  I'm saying "I want to be a writer; what shall I write about?"

So, I'm still going to go through this process.  I'm merely noting that it seems more logical - somehow a purer process - if I were to wake up, think about some concept or idea or passion, and THEN sit down to write about it.

Et alors.

**********************

Today I lay in bed, still sleepy, when I heard the *ping* of my cell phone signaling me that a new email had arrived.  I noted that it was from David Timpson; he had not given me any Mine News; I don't think he'll email me when the money comes, anyway.  But he DID forward to me an article in The Guardian, which addresses a study done by someone, about gay men and the unique stressors they experience in life.

I determined that I'd like to read the article and then respond to David, but not until I'd completed my routine.  I'm doing that now.  But during my routine, I kept wondering what kind of stress I had had, or am having, because I'm a gay man.  And that, of course, led me to add the realities of being LDS & white.  And then, I speculated again what it might be like to be a minority (say Hispanic), and disabled.

I, and others, have a tendency/need to categorize ourselves into groups who have some things in common, and then to analyze what that might mean to us and others.

It's going to be an interesting reading & responding to the Guardian study.

20200228 GRATITUDE REVIEW

1.  Family
Joe
Chrissy
Ada
Ethan
Elliot
Oliver
Lisa
Rodney
Lyla
Eli
Caleb
Teresa
Siblings
In-laws
Cousins
N&Ns

1.a.  Dead Family
Dad
Mom
Dan
Bob
Tom
Kathleen
Millie

2.  Friends
David
Jeannie
George
Dr Pruitt
Sikoki & Richard
John & Paul
Bill
Chad

2.a.  Dead Friends
Frank White
Sally Stephens

3.  Self
Health
Money
Food
Shelter
Sex
Brain
Books
Technology
Freedom
Democracy

20200228 SLLLAVERS for FRIDAY

SILENCE

Tried to silence my brain for 70 seconds; today I did it almost immediately upon waking up.

LLL

Laugh.  Love.  Live.

AFFIRMATIONS

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
4. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
5. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
6. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
7. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
8. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
9. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
10. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.

Also said aloud for 70 seconds.

VISUALIZATION

I weighed 194.2 pounds today.

183 by 3/23/20

EXERCISE

Did my full base-70 routine for Friday 2/28/20:

1. ankle/wrist circles 70
2. toe/finger stretches 70
3. bicycle crunches 70
4. shoulder rolls 70
5. inversion table 3 70-second sets
6. push-ups 70 (2 sets of 35 - YAY)

READING, WRITING

Read for 70 seconds in SAPIENS by Yuval Noah Harari.  He makes the case for the - ALMOST - nonexistence of biological differences between men and women.  He acknowledges that women have always been the child bearers, and that is a definite biological difference between the sexes.  But he contends that - MOST - of the perceived differences between the sexes have their roots in imaginations of Sapiens.  He hasn't said "...the imaginations of MALE Sapiens"... yet.

Read for 70 seconds in YOU ARE A WRITER by Jeff Goins.  He says I have to cut out the crap, distractions, etc. from my life, and in so doing, will allow more time for writing.

My distractions are:

1.  cell phone

2.  news shows

3.  pornography

I can say "good riddance" to pornography.  But I choose to maintain limited access to news shows, and to my cell phone.  For example, yesterday morning, I turned it off during my entire routine.  That was too much, because I needed to set my alarm & timer for certain elements of my routine.  So today, I kept my phone on.

Trying to use a reasonable approach.  I can control my time, I've done it a lot, and will continue to do it.  Perhaps when I get to the point of actually writing, during the actual writing blocks of time, I will turn my phone off, leave my TV off, and definitely not watch any pornography.  

*****************

Yesterday, David's call was welcome relief from the torture I felt almost all day.  So he says that one of his colleagues upstream has found out that he (the colleague) will be paid millions on Monday; that should mean that Michael will get HIS "millions" on Monday, too.  We'll see.

The difficulty I have every time this sequence cycles through my life is, I have to face several days with no news and nothing substantial to do:  Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and probably most of Monday.

20200227 GRATITUDE REVIEW

1.  FAMILY
Joe for his industriousness (remodeling, tools), and his talent at doing all that, and his teaching both me and his children how to do it.
Chrissy for her patience.
Ada for dancing through her life.
Ethan for reading and playing basketball
Elliot for music and sports
Oliver for his good taste.
Lisa for her yoga.
Rodney for his loving his family
Lyla for making cakes
Eli for his creativity.
Caleb for his smile.
Siblings for being there
In-laws for being there
Cousins for being there.
N&Ns for living their lives.

1.a.  Dead Family
Dad for his stability.
Mom for her femininity.
Dan for his simple approach to life.
Bob for his inventiveness
Tom for his sports
Alicia for her simple faith.
Kathleen for reading so much
Millie for calligraphy.


2.  FRIENDS
David for his medical achievements.
Jeannie for her hard work.
Dr. Pruitt for teaching me how to express my ideas.
George for struggling against his illness.
Eric & Arno for being life-long friends to me.
Bill for accepting me as I am.
Sikoki and Richard for including me in their circle of friends.
Paul and John for their love and friendship.
Chad for being there.
Gamofites for allowing me to be more authentic.
The Lavender Effect for the chance to give back to my community.

2.a.  Dead Friends
Frank White for teaching me how to sing.
Sally Stephens for being a loyal and unconditional friend.

3.  SELF
For freedom
For health
For democracy
For ice cream
For shelter
For food
For entertainment
For education

20200227 SLLLAVERS for THURSDAY

SILENCE

Tried to silence my brain for 70 seconds; not easy.  (But maybe it was harder because I didn't sleep well, and I woke up early and listened to some podcasts, filling my brain with thoughts.)

LLL

LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH

AFFIRMATIONS

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
4. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
5. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
6. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
7. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
8. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
9. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
10. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.

Also said aloud for 70 seconds.

VISUALIZATION

Today I weighed 195.0 pounds.

183 by 3/23/20

EXERCISE

Did my full base-70 routine for Thursday 2/27/20:

1. ankle/wrist circles 70
2. toe/finger stretches 70
3. bicycle crunches 70
4. shoulder rolls 70
5. inversion table 3 70-second sets
6. squats 70

READING, WRITING

Read for 70 seconds in SAPIENS by Yuval Noah Harari.  He says that in ancient times, when women and their sexuality were "owned" by their husbands, raping his wife could not be thought of as a crime, any more than picking up a lost coin would be considered theft.

He says that as late as 2006, there were still 50+ communities (he does not specify which) where raping one's wife was not considered a crime.

Harari has nailed the idea, no fact, that gender discrimination has been rampant in Sapiens' social evolution, and he implies that only now (with such things as the Me Too movement) are we beginning to actually change this arbitrary discrimination against women, something that was only in the imagination of men (and probably some women) simply because they were stronger.

I'm not so sure we should throw out ALL the differences between men and women with this societal evolution.  I like that women and men are capable of almost all things.  However, I don't want to lose the endearing charms of a couple who allow each other to be masculine or feminine, who are "the locket and the chain" sometimes, and other times two equal partners.

Tread for 709 seconds in YOU ARE A WRITER by Jeff Goins.  He says I can either CREATE, or REACT.  I can't do both at the same time.

This morning, before I began my routine, I turned OFF my cell phone.  I decided to estimate the times I needed to do several elements of my routine, and because I've done them every day for long periods of times (weeks, months), I was able to estimate the time very well.

But my phone was OFF.  It still IS OFF while I write this.  Goins says that our brains are not wired to multi-task.  So, we should not expect to "be everywhere" as many folks who frequent the internet apps do.  They are likely quite frustrated with all the information "out there" and with not being able to assimilate it all (trends, news, information, etc.).

I'm in 100% agreement with this.  But I still like going on line to see what's "out there" today.  I'm sensing that I should be more willing to limit that, and thus more able to become more of a writer.

I am a writer.

*******************

Soon, I'll turn my phone back on to check if I've heard from Joe, Lisa, or David.

But for now, I'll leave it off while I do my Gratitude Review.

20200226 GRATITUDE REVIEW

1.  FAMILY
Joe
Chrissy
Ada
Ethan
Elliot
Oliver
Lisa
Rodney
Lyla
Eli
Caleb
Teresa
Siblings
In-laws
Cousins
N&Ns

1.a.  Dead Family
Dad
Mom
Dan
Bob
Tom
Kath
Millie

2.  FRIENDS
David
Jeannie
Dr. Pruitt
George
Marie
John & Paul
Sikoki & Richard
Randy
Bill

2.a.  Dead Friends
Frank White
Sally Stephens

3.  SELF
Health
Mental
Shelter
Food
Sex
Income
Los Angeles

20200226 SLLLAVERS for WEDNESDAY

SILENCE

Tried to silence my brain for 70 seconds.

LLL

Live, Love, Laugh

AFFIRMATIONS

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
4. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
5. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
6. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
7. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
8. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
9. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
10. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.

Also said aloud for 70 seconds.

VISUALIZATION

Today I weighed 195.6 pounds.

183 by 3/23/20

EXERCISE

Did my full base-70 routine for Wednesday 2/26/20:

1. ankle/wrist circles 70
2. toe/finger stretches 70
3. bicycle crunches 70
4. shoulder rolls 70
5. inversion table 3 70-second sets
6. push-ups 70 (2 sets of 35 - YAY!  I'm back!)

READING, WRITING

Read 70 seconds in SAPIENS by Yuval Noah Harari.  He says, in discussing the inequities found in societal evolution, that women were property in ancient Hebrew lands.  The Bible describes how they handled rapes:  the raper was, in a sense, the victim, and not the woman.  He was obligated to pay the father or husband of a raped virgin 50 scheckles when/if he was found out.

The "Me Too" movement of today still involves raped (or wronged) women, and the accused, if found guilty must pay X$ and more than likely a vast penalty in their otherwise normal family & professional lives.

Read 70 seconds in YOU ARE A WRITER by Jeff Goins.  He says, under "Declutter" that I should choose my priorities, or they will choose me.  I know this principle.  I have now and then left my phone face down, and across the room, while I focused on my routine.  The more I did this, the more I realized that I had been, but was now becoming less and less "enslaved" by the potential news I might get by looking at my phone.

So I get it.  I just hope that I will not lapse into being enslaved by my phone.  IOW, I want to be reasonable.  And I want to write, because I am a writer.

*********************

Is today D-Day?  DONATION DAY?  Hope so.

20200225 GRATITUDE REVIEW

1.  FAMILY
Joe for calling me every few days with us news & updates
Chrissy for loving her kids.
Ada for dancing through life.
Ethan for being a smart kid who loves his family.
Elliot for being good at music and sports.
Oliver for loving ham & cheese.
Lisa for mastering yoga.
Rodney for being long-suffering.
Lyla for baking cakes.
Eli for building aluminum foil boats that actually float.
Cub for his smile that comes from within.
Teresa for her generous nature
Siblings for being there.
In-laws for marrying Taylors.
Cousins for being there.
N & Ns for being there; esp Woody & Emily for meeting the challenge of her disability.

1.a.  Dead FAMILY
Dad for teaching me through his example.
Mom for loving purple irises.
Dad for serving in the Marines.
Bob for loving science.
Tom for playing football.
Kathleen for loving reading.
Millie for being an artist.


2.  FRIENDS
David for unconditional love of his family & friends.
Jeannie for loving David.
Dr. Pruitt for teaching disadvantaged people with psychoses.
George for his love of reading.
Marie for her real living and fight against cancer.
John & Paul for welcoming me into their lives.
Sikoki & Richard for welcoming me into their lives.
Chad for paying the rent.

2.a.  Dead FRIENDS
Frank White for teaching me to sing and to act.
Sally Stephens for being true to herself and battling her condition.


NOTE:  I'm glad I do this Gratitude Review every day, even though it sometimes feels like a burden.  I'd like my gratitude and my love for others to be spontaneous & natural.  But it's not, at least it's not all the time.  But "forcing it" (aka "holding down the needle") can often change my attitude from "burden" to "naturally feeling good."


OLDER VERSION:
As the months wore on, I eventually realized that I needed to take pen in hand, and put pen to paper, and begin actually writing.

MODERN VERSION:
As the minutes wore on, I soon realized that I needed to take keyboard in lap, and put bytes to screen, and begin actually writing.



3.  SELF

20200225 SLLLAVERS for TUESDAY

SILENCE

Tried to silence my brain for 70 seconds; not an easy thing to do, even first thing upon waking.

LLL

Laugh, Love, Live

AFFIRMATIONS

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
4. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
5. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
6. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
7. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
8. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
9. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
10. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.

Also said aloud for 70 seconds.

VISUALIZATION

Today I weighed 196.4.

183 by 3/23/20

EXERCISE

Did my full base-70 routine for Tuesday 2/25/20:

1. ankle/wrist circles 70
2. toe/finger stretches 70
3. bicycle crunches 70
4. shoulder rolls 70
5. inversion table 3 70-second sets
6. squats 70

READING, WRITING

Read for 70 seconds in SAPIENS by Yuval Noah Harari.  He says that in China around 1200BC, some bones were inscribed with messages about women giving birth on certain days:  some were lucky, some not.  E.g., on a given day, the birth would have been "auspicious" (meaning conducive to success); but if born on an unlucky day, it could bring bad luck, especially if it were a girl.

3000 years later in China, pregnant parents still wish & hope for boys.  Not so long ago, with China's 1-child policy, parents of girls might "get rid of" female babies so they'd have another chance of having a boy.

All this makes me cringe; our society is what it is, and we are still doing awful things to each other.  Religion has kept some from evil acts, but it has also covered up evil acts, and has lied about its beliefs.

It seems to me that NO ONE REALLY KNOWS the answer to the riddle of the universe.  But what do "I" know??  Nothing much.

Read for 70 seconds in YOU ARE A WRITER by Jeff Goins.  He says that the goal for any passion in life is, really, to do it without thinking.

At first I contended that NO, that is not a worthy goal in life, to do something without thinking.  But I was leaving out PASSION.  It is, on 2nd thought, a worthy goal to act on your passion without thinking through why, how, when, etc. every time.  Rather, it should be automatic to:

1.  Do my daily routine.

2.  Write

We'll leave it at those 2 things for now.

At 69 1/2 years of age, I am not trying to find a new professional calling to earn my way through life.  But I AM a WRITER (using my Affirmation Technique - this means I AM a writer inside, and the outward indications of such are still developing).  And I AM a loving human being.  And I AM a person who enjoys good health and the ability to think critically.  And I AM a person who entertains new knowledge/information/ideas from many sources (Friends, books, podcasts, critical thinking)

************************

Yesterday, David said we'd have "money in hand" by Wednesday.  So I can wait another 24 hours.  But last night, I seriously wondered what my life would be like if, after another week went by, there were still  no money.

And I wonder if there IS money, will it be so little that I'll have to continue my financial struggles?  David seems to think that no, this will be a radical change for him AND for me, for the better.

He and I have both been very careful to express our love for each other, separate and apart from our desire to have the money come in.  He's been right, right from the start - our friendship is above and beyond the material things of this life.  I have slowly bought this message.  Slowly because I have never felt worthy of his love/friendship.  And yet, part of me has always known it and felt it.  Tamera was right when she said, years ago, that she "just knew we'd be friends for ever."

*happy sighs*

20200224 GRATITUDE REVIEW

1.  FAMILY
Joe for the long and open and wonderful conversations we have.
Chrissy for her dedication to her children.
Ada for dancing through her life
Ethan for handling puberty so well.
Elliot for loving his father
Oliver for fighting back against being the youngest.
Lisa for keeping on keeping on.
Rodney for loving everyone.
Lyla for making cakes.
Eli for his sensitive nature
Caleb for his smile.
Teresa for her unconditional love
Siblings for being there.
In-laws for being there.
Cousins for being there.
N & Ns for being there.
Woody & Emily for fighting against her debilitating illness.

1.a.  Dead Family
Dad for his diplomacy from Idaho.
Mom for teaching me about menstruation.
Dan for his service to the USA
Bob for his inventions.
Tom for playing football and teaching me how to drive.
Kathy for reading so much
Millie for being my little sister.

2.  FRIENDS
David for unconditional love.
Jeannie for her unconditional support.
Dr. Pruitt for teaching me about academe.
Marie for fighting against cancer.
George for asking me for help.
Eric and Arno for achievements in so many ways.
Gamofites for the chance to connect to people like me.
TheLavenderEffect for the chance to contribute to LGBTQ causes.

2.a.  Dead Friends
Frank White for singing
Sally Stephens for her unconditional love


3.  SELF
For good health
For a functioning mind
For shelter
For food
For technology:  allows me to be entertained, do research, acquire knowledge, review stuff.
For vision
For hearing
For taste
For smell
For touch

20200224 SLLLAVERS for MONDAY, MILLIE'S & RODNEY'S BIRTHDAYS

SILENCE

Tried to silence my brain for 70 seconds.  Mild success.

LLL

LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH

AFFIRMATIONS

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
4. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
5. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
6. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
7. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
8. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
9. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
10. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.

Also, said aloud for 70 seconds.

VISUALIZATION

I weighed 196.0 pounds this morning.

183 by 3/23/20

EXERCISE

Did my (almost) full base-70 routine for Monday 2/24/20:

1. ankle/wrist circles 70
2. toe/finger stretches 70
3. bicycle crunches 70
4. shoulder rolls 70
5. inversion table 3 70-second sets
6. push-ups 35 + 28 + 9 = 72

READING, WRITING

Read for 70 seconds in SAPIENS by Yuval Noah Harari.  He says

"Most sociopolitical hierarchies lack a logical or biological basis - they are nothing but the perpetuation of chance events supported by myths.  That is one good reason to study history.  If the division into blacks and whites, or Brahmins and Shudras was grounded in biological realities - that is, if Brahmins really had better brains than Shudras - biology would be sufficient for understanding human society.  Since the biological distinctions between different groups of homo sapiens are, in fact, negligible, biology can't explain the intricacies of Indian society or American racial dynamics.  We can only understand those phenomena by studying the events, circumstances and power relations that transformed figments of imagination into cruel - and very real social structures."

I can't help but think back to Dr. Pruitt's comments about his (unquottable & deniable) statement that black people really are inferior to white people.  RUBBISH!

Harari then begins a discussion about how gender has become a regrettable basis for discrimination among sapiens, or at least since the Agricultural Revolution (his speculation) - i.e., since 12K BC to 8K BC.

Read for 70 seconds in YOU ARE A WRITER by Jeff Goins.  He says he developed becoming a writer by trying, failing, and then trying again - but this time, he included "giving the sport/endeavor the 'respect it deserved'."  Well, that's all good.  I've done it in half-assed ways many times throughout my life.

But I take from what he wrote this lesson:  I must give WRITING the respect it deserves by being disciplined, obtaining and using the proper tools, etc.  (just like giving running, or exercise routines the respect THEY deserve).

I'm guessing that he'll now present the path to writing by defining the tools and actions I need to become a real writer.

20200222 GRATITUDE REVIEW

1.  FAMILY

2.  FRIENDS

3.  SELF                                                           

20200222 SLLLAVERS for SATURDAY

SILENCE

Tried, and basically failed, to silence my brain for 70 seconds.

LLL

Live, Love, Laugh

AFFIRMATIONS

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
4. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
5. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
6. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
7. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
8. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
9. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being
10. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.

Also, said aloud for 70 seconds.

VISUALIZATION

I weighed 194.2 today

183 by 3/23/20

EXERCISE

Did my full base-70 routine for Saturday 2/22/20:

1. ankle/wrist circles 70
2. toe/finger stretches 70
3. bicycle crunches 70
4. shoulder rolls 70
5. inversion table 3 70-second sets
6. squats 70

READING, WRITING

Read for 70 seconds in SAPIENS by Yuval Noah Harari.  He says that racism begets racism.  The standards of beauty, for example, were/are perpetuated by what went before.  I get what he's saying, but I'm not able to re-express it.  This "principle," he says, has its roots in a historical occurrence, and is kept alive only in our collective imaginations.  Other examples:  education, poverty.

Read for 70 seconds in YOU ARE A WRITER by Jeff Goins.  He says that FEAR is a dangerous thing; it's the root cause of why I don't begin writing.  "What if I fail?"  "What if the world ends?" etc.

He adds that I should get rid of all "back up plans" and start - and FINISH - something.  I should write an article, an essay, a poem.  Start it and finish it.  OK

**********************

I'm so saddened and depressed about facing yet ANOTHER weekend without D-Day being really here.

Yesterday, David had a meeting with Michael and another associate (David something); but there was no money - yet.

It's so difficult to have everything (almost everything) on hold for at least another 48 hours.  I feel like going somewhere, but no destination (or even just a journey) comes to mind without being attached to a bunch of negatives:  money, traffic, no one to visit, too far, etc.

So I'll stay home and watch movies, series, the news.  And eat more food.

*SIGH*

20200221 GRATITUDE REVIEW

1.  FAMILY
Joe, for his willingness to keep trying to keep his marriage together.
Chrissy, for her willingness to try to resolve her childhood issues.
Ada, for her dancing.
Ethan, for his reading.
Elliot, for his beauty.
Oliver, for his love.
Lisa, for her organizational skills
Rodney, for taking care of his family.
Lyla, for her patience.
Eli, for his sensitivity.
Caleb, for his smile.
Teresa for her patience.
Siblings, for just being there.
In-laws, for marrying Taylors.
Cousins, for being there.
N & Ns, for their respect.

1.a. Dead Family
Dad, for his dedication to doing what's right.
Mom, for her femininity.
Dad, for his fidelity.
Bob, for his pursuit of new ideas.
Tom, for his love of me.
Kathy, for her love of books.
Millie, for her calligraphy.

2.  FRIENDS
David, for his unconditional love for everyone.
Jeannie, for her unconditional love of everyone.
Dr. Pruitt, for his good habits (reading, grooming)
George, for his persistence in improving his life.
Bill, for his multi-faceted life of creativity, beauty, and love.  Also that he didn't die.
Gamofites, for the chance to be more of my true self.
The Lavender Effect, for the chance to give back to my community
Chad, for paying the rent on time
For Sikoki and Richard, for including me on their guest lists.
For Paul and John, for including me in their circle of friends.

2.a.  Dead Friends
Frank White, for teaching me how to sing.
Sally Stephens, for living the LDS Gospel without judgment.

3.  SELF
For good health
For understanding how I (69 year old male) can maintain good health.
For food.
For a comfortable place to live.
For a reliable car.
For freedom, democracy, and our republic.
For Democrats who will not take losing democracy lying down.
For ice cream.

20200221 SLLLAVERS for FRIDAY, D-DAY?

SILENCE

Tried to silence my brain for 70 seconds.

AFFIRMATIONS

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
4. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
5. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
6. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
7. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
8. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
9. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
10. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.

Also said aloud for 70 seconds.

VISUALIZATION

I weight 194.6 today.

183 by 3/23/20

EXERCISE

Did my partial base-70 routine for Friday, 20200221:

OMG OMG OMG - this rarely happens!!!!!!!!

I did 35 push-ups, and did NOT do the 2nd set of 35!!!!!!!!  I now decided to do them after I've finished soaking my right foot.

OMGOMGOMGOMG.

1. ankle/wrist circles 70
2. toe/finger stretches 70
3. bicycle crunches 70
4. shoulder rolls 70
5. inversion table 3 70-second sets
6. push-ups 35 ........................................................... (TBC) 
7. OK, a bit later, this morning, I did my 2nd set of 35.  So I did 70.  (Whew!)

READING, WRITING

Read for 70 seconds in SAPIENS by Yuval Noah Harari.  He says, as he continues his discussion of discrimination in the USA in the 19th & 20th Cs, that this all began as a "chance" - i.e., that whites should dominate society, and blacks submit to it.  The atrocities of the KKK (lynching) are history, and are far worse than Indian Caste system "purity," because the ultimate sin was to "commit" interracial sexual relations.

Read for 70 seconds in YOU ARE A WRITER by Jeff Goins.  He says I should write "I AM A WRITER" many times.  Every day at least once.  I will do so.  But he adds that simply writing (and not finishing) essays, articles, books..... is "dangerous territory."  In a box in the text, he says 

THIS IS DANGEROUS TERRITORY, WHEN YOUR CREATIVITY HIJACKS YOUR PRODUCTIVITY

I'm not quite sure how this would happen.  Perhaps it will become more clear when I begin to write.  But as of now, I think he means that I have CREATIVITY, and that I'm in danger if my CREATIVITY dominates/controls/takes over my PRODUCTIVITY, and thus I won't get any writing done.

*************************

I really do hope that David will call on this D-Day with real money news.  Why do I hope it?  Several reasons:

1.  He needs the money.

2.  He needs good news.

3.  I want to move forward with my life.

4.  I want to help several people/groups.

5.  I need the money.

6.  I need good news.

7.  We're all tired of the delays.

20200220 GRATITUDE REVIEW

1.  Family
Joe for his quick wit, intelligence, and love of his family.
Chrissy for her willingness to sacrifice for her family.
Ada for her cheery disposition
Ethan for his pursuit of intellectual development.
Elliot for his love of music and sports
Oliver for his impish smile.
Lisa for her achievements in yoga.
Rodney for his good natured love of all things good.
Lyla for her love of life
Eli for his creativity and fearless attempts at new things
Cub for his smile
Teresa for her willingness to allow others to fail.
Siblings for their Taylorness
Siblings-in-law for their patience with Taylors

NOTE:  I just realized that of the 9 children born to Ancel & Virginia Taylor, not one of them has a relationship with a significant other that is on-going today.  Divorce or death has eliminated them all; of the 3 remaining (Jack, Peggy, Ken), all are single today.

Cousins for their general acceptance of me as a gay man.
N & N for their general acceptance of me as a gay man.

1.a.  Dead family

Dad for his example of how to live a true life.
Mom for her red cake.
Dan for his service to our country.
Bob for his love of science.
Tom for his love of me.
Kathy for her pursuit of knowledge.
Millie for her support during our childhood years; and for her calligraphy pursuits.

2.  Friends
David for his love for me, an out gay man, and for his waking up to the reality of what Mormonism is.
Jeannie for her devotion to David.
Dr. Pruitt for his ability to teach while drawing his students along a better path.
George for his undying curiosity about almost everything.
Marie for her fights against cancer.
JC for his non-judgmental life.
Eric & Arno for their love for each other.
Woody & Emily for their courageous fight against her debilitating illness.
Barbara Schweiger for her love & support during puberty

2.a.  Dead friends

Frank White for his musical talent & for teaching me what he could.
Sally Stephens for loving me in spite of my being a gay man.
Carolyn Sega for giving me some sort of confidence back in Jr. High School, by asking me to prom.


3.  Self
For good health.
For a functioning brain.
For a comfortable and safe place to live.
For reliable means of transportation.
For books.
For modern technology (phones, internet, ext.)

20200220 SLLLAVERS for THURSDAY

SILENCE

Tried to silence my brain for 70 seconds.

AFFIRMATIONS

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
4. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
5. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
6. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
7. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
8. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
9. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
10. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.

Also said aloud for 70 seconds.

VISUALIZATION

I weighed 195.6 this morning

183 by 3/23/20

EXERCISE

Did my full base-70 routine for Thursday 2/20/20:

1. ankle/wrist circles 70
2. toe/finger stretches 70
3. bicycle crunches 70
4. inversion table 3 70-second sets
5. shoulder rolls 70
6. squats 70

READING, WRITING

Read for 70 seconds in SAPIENS by Yuval Noah Harari.  He discusses in greater detail the viscious cycle that was/is black/white racism in the United States.  The more whites discriminated against blacks, the more they justified it.  It was all based on myth.

Read for 70 seconds in YOU ARE A WRITER by Jeff Goins.  He says that I must write, with pen and paper, "I am a writer," every day.  So, I will do so now.

Done.  (I wrote it in a book that GG gave me; I'm starting from the back, and filling up the pages:

20200220:

     I am a writer.

etc.

*************************

Well, I've done my SLLLAVERS routine; now it's time for GRATITUDE REVIEW.

But my thoughts are peppered with wishes that today would be D-Day.  We'll see.

Optimism:  They say they've received pre-advice messages from both sending and receiving banks; that's an indication that it really WILL happen soon.

Pessimism:  WTF???????? It's been YEARS, and it hasn't happened yet.  WHY should I think it'll happen this week????????????  Perhaps I should give it up.

We'll see.

*sigh*

20200219 GRATITUDE REVIEW

1.  Family
Joe for his acceptance of me as his gay father.
Chrissy for her beauty and mothering.
Ada for her dancing through life.
Ethan for his love of reading.
Elliot for his high achievement in music and sports.
Oliver for knowing what he likes.
Lisa for her love of life.
Rodney for his silent acceptance of almost everyone.
Lyla for her many talents
Eli for his creativity.
Caleb for his smile.
In-laws for accepting me as a gay relative
Cousins (Ramona, anyway) for accepting me as a good person
N&N for living their lives as they see fit

2.  Friends
David for his love and caring for me and almost everyone else.
Jeannie for her dedication to the cause of happy living.
Dr. Pruitt for teaching me how to be an academician.
George for his pursuit of excellence
Marie for her unrelenting fight against cancer.
Woody & Emily for finding a way to live and cope with her illness
Eric & Arno for loving me from afar.
The singles for their fight to live well
Leaders of Churches and Nations who are honest and hard-working.


3.  Self
For healthy body
For a functioning brain
For a comfortable place to live
For enough food to eat
For continued sexual function

20200218 SLLLAVERS for WEDNESDAY

Yesterday was not D-Day, and I predict that today will also not be D-Day.

SILENCE

Tried to silence my brain for 70 seconds.

LLL

Life Love Laugh

AFFIRMATIONS

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
4. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
5. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
6. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
7. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
8. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
9. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
10. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.

Also said aloud for 70 seconds.

VISUALIZATION

Today I weighed 196.6.

183 by 3/23/20

EXERCISE

Did my almost full base-70 routine for Wednesday 2/19/2020:

1. ankle/wrist circles 70
2. toe/finger stretches 70
3. bicycle crunches 70
4. shoulder rolls 70
5. inversion table 3 70-second sets
6. push-ups 70 (2 sets of 28 + 14, with 3 minute rest intervals)

READING, WRITING

Read for 70 seconds in SAPIENS by Yuval Noah Harari.  He says, still focused on the Sapiens of the USA in the post-Civil War (1860s+), the races remained divided along more than simply economic lines.  There was a stigma that both races adopted, which left blacks in vastly inferior positions vis-a-vis education and employment opportunities.

Read for 70 seconds in YOU ARE A WRITER by Jeff Goins.  He says that his "expert" to whom he had gone for advice, told him that he would be a writer when he said he was a writer.

So he began telling himself and the rest of his world that he was a writer.  When asked, he'd say his occupation was "writer."  He put it on emails and publicly presented himself as a writer.

He says it worked.  He began tricking his brain into believing that he was a writer.

20200218 GRATITUDE REVIEW

1.  FAMILY
Joe - for his love of me, and his willingness to accept me as a gay father.
Chrissy - for her level-headed, practical approach to life
Ada - for her dancing
Ethan - for his passion for reading
Elliot - for his love of music and sports
Oliver - for his connection to reality
Lisa - for her learning about mothering
Rodney - for his silent loving approach to marriage and famiy
Lyla - for her many talents
Eli - for his creativity
Caleb - for his smile
Teresa - for her bewildering acceptance of me as a gay ex-husband
Siblings - for their Taylorisms
In-laws - for their acceptance of me being a gay relative
Cousins & n&ns - for just living their lives

2.  FRIENDS
David - for his love & acceptance of me, warts & all
Jeannie - for her angelic compassion for everyone
Dr. Pruitt - for teaching me about his racial challenges
George - for his creative love and love of learning
Marie - for being a close friend from a far place
Woody and Emily - for their heroic meeting of the challenges of their lives
Eric and Arno - for staying together
The singles - for meeting their challenges of sickness (Randy, Steve Dunn, David the Singer)
Leaders of Churches and Nations - for doing their jobs - when they do them well.
Chad - for paying the rent on time
Aritas - for continuing to meet the challenges of their lives
The Lavender Effect - for the ability to give to a worthy cause
Gamofites - for the chance to relate to others in like situations, and to help some of them.

3.  SELF
For good health
For a functioning brain & a reasonable memory
For my knack for languages
For a comfortable place to live
For freedom, democracy, and the USA
For the peach tree
For books
For podcasts
For a cell phone that does so many things
For the internet - source of many subjects

20200218 SLLLAVERS for TUESDAY

SILENCE

Tried to silence my again-awakened brain for 70 seconds.

LLL

Live, Love, Laugh

AFFIRMATIONS

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
4. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
5. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
6. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
7. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
8. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
9. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
10. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.

Also said aloud for 70 seconds.

VISUALIZATION

I weighed 194.4 this morning.

183 by 3/23/20

EXERCISE

Did my full base-70 routine for Tuesday 2/18/2020:

1. ankle/wrist circles 70
2. toe/finger stretches 70
3. bicycle crunches 70
4. shoulder rolls 70
5. inversion table 3 70-second sets
6. squats 70

READING, WRITING

Read for 70 seconds in SAPIENS by Yuval Noah Harari.  He says that in post-Civil War America, a black family was far less education and far poorer than a white family.  The 13th & 14th Amendments to the US Constitution did not immediately balance the opportunities for all Americans.  They could all be citizens, and could all vote.  But it took another century (till 1960s) for the US Congress to act on the continued inequality in America.

This correction came about (and is still coming about) because the people have chosen it.

Read for 70 seconds in YOU ARE A WRITER by Jeff Goins.  He says he was confused about whether he was, or if he could ever be, a writer.  So he asked an expert when it is.

Mr. Pressman, the person he asked, said it was when you say you are.  THAT'S when.

OK, I get that.

*************************

Yesterday was the first of 2 important days:  David's 2nd surgery (which I understand went well).  Today is the 2nd:  the day the money begins.

I am imagining what today will be like - I'll go the whole day not hearing anything, I expect.

At least, Mr. Universe, you could have David and/or Jeannie contact me and tell me how he's doing.

Sheesh!

20200217 SLLLAVERS for MONDAY, TWINS BIRTHDAY

Later that same day......

SILENCE

Tried to silence my brain for 70 seconds.  This is more difficult later in the day, since upon awakening, I began to fill my transitioned brain with thoughts of the day.  Not bad ones; just more of the little buggers that cloud my already gray matter.  Ah well.

LLL  LIVE LOVE LAUGH

AFFIRMATIONS

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
4. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
5. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
6. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
7. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
8. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
9. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
10. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.

Said aloud for 70 seconds.

VISUALIZATION

183 by 03/23/20

Today I weighed approx 193 (before breakfast); so my visualization is for the scale to read 183 on 3/23/20.

EXERCISE

Did my almost full base-70 routine for Monday 20200217:

1. ankle/wrist circles 70
2. toe/finger stretches 70 (NOTE:  a nervous twitch in my right index finger was the immediate catalyst for resuming my SLLLAVERS routine, and doing so at around 4-6 pm.
3. bicycle crunches 70
4. shoulder rolls 70
5. inversion table 3 70-second sets
6. push-ups 70 (2 sets of 21 = 42 + 38 = 70, with 2 minute rests between sets)

READING, WRITING

Read 70 seconds in SAPIENS by Yuval Noah Harari.  He says the Sapiens of the 1800s justified enslaving other races by means of Scripture, Medicine, and a real look at how people were living.

Britain abolished slavery in the 19th C, as did America; it took (it IS TAKING) much longer to remove bias against races.

He also notes that the Abolition of Slavery in America is the first and only time that a society did so voluntarily.

Read 70 seconds in YOU ARE A WRITER by Jeff Goins.  He says that becoming a writer is not in your heart, but in your HEAD.  You trick yourself into believing you're a writer, and eventually you begin to believe it, and to act like it.

He worried that he'd never feel like a writer, so he asked an expert:

(70 seconds has passed; next time I read, I'll find out what the expert told him)

***********************

Today and tomorrow are important days.

Today, DT had his 2nd surgery, hopefully to complete the needed modifications in his urinary tract/pump hardware system.  I cringed when he used the phrase "power wash."  OMG!

Well, he's back home, and I expect to talk to him any time this evening.

Tomorrow, DT tells me, the money will be here.  I've been disappointed so often, I am not really excited; but it sure would be great if it happens tomorrow.  I'm prepared to not hear anything from David all day.  But I still hope I do.

20200217 GRATITUDE REVIEW and more

GRATITUDE REVIEW


Poetry on the morning of David's (2nd) surgery:

Doctor Patient

LS:  Good Morning, Doctor.  Doctor, meet your Doctors.  Doctors, this our patient.
DT:  Good Morning Doctors.
SA:  Our patient is a Doctor?
LS:  Yes, this Doctor is our patient..
SA:  Welcome Doctor Patient.
DT:  Thank you Doctors.  Yes, today I AM both patient and Doctor.
LS:  As we doctor you Doctor, be patient.
DT:  I AM all 3:  Doctor, Patient, and patient.  And now Doctors, this Doctor's ready to be doctored.
LS:  Patience, Doctor.
DT:  Sorry.  But please...... be patient while you doctor this Doctor.
LS:  We are all patient Doctors with all our patients, Doctor.
DT:  JUST GET IT DONE ALREADY!!!
LS:  IV!

***********************

GRATITUDE REVIEW

BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE, AND YOU'LL END UP HAVING MORE.
IF YOU CONCENTRATE ON WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE, YOU WILL NEVER, EVER HAVE ENOUGH.

I can easily LIST what I DO HAVE.  I've done that many times throughout my life.  Sometimes I've written them down, but mostly I've just thought about it.

But the advice is to CONCENTRATE ON and BE GRATEFUL FOR what I DO HAVE.  That's more than just thinking about it, or just making a list, and then possibly forgetting it.

I don't forget everything, but I do "lapse" a lot.... I don't do the GRATITUDE REVIEW that I learned from LDS Church (Count Your Blessings), from teachers, from Dr. Pruitt.

So rather than resume my "SLLLAVERS" routine (which would also be a good idea), I will replace my morning routing - for now - with a GRATITUDE REVIEW.

I'll start it tonight, and then I'll do it again tomorrow morning, and every morning.

GRATITUDE REVIEW for Monday, 20200217:

1.  Family:
Joe - for his enthusiasm & entreprenneurial spirit.
Chrissy - for her level-headedness and willingness to work.
Ada - for her happy dancing, and turning 13 today!  A TEEN GRANDDAUGHTER!
Ethan - for his intellectual pursuits, and his team playing basketball, and turning 13 today!  A TEEN GRANDSON!
Elliot - for his enthusiasm for music and sports
Oliver - for his frank assessment of what is real
Lisa - for her eneregy and enthusiasm and high achievement
Rodney - for his patience and level-headedness
Lyla - for her many talents, including piano, dance, drama, and for her patience with her mom & younger brothers.
Eli - for his sensitivity and excitement about his toys, and love of others
Cub - for his cuteness and smile
Teresa - for her bewildering willingness to still love me
Other relatives - for so many reasons for all of them.
Mom - for teaching me how to pray

2.  Friends:
David - for his patient friendship and love
Jeannie - for her long-suffering willingness to love David
Dr. Pruitt - for his life lessons, such as this one:  GRATITUDE REVIEW
George - for his undying enthusiasm for learning, for being helpful to others, and his inspirational living, and his creativity, and his thoughtfulness, and his love.
Marie - for her undying fight for life, for her artistic achievements in photography and writing, and her achievement ($) with which she is so generous.
Eric & Arno - for their life-long friendship
Woody & Emily - for their heroic efforts in facing Emily's debilitating illness
The "Singles" - for their fights against the difficult challenges of their lives.

3.  Groups:
Gamofites - for the chance to learn how to better deal with being a gay mormon father, and for the chance to mentor others in their journeys.
The Lavender Effect - for the chance to learn about non-profits, foundations, and fund-raising
Other Friends - for the love, friendship & associations I share with so many people in my life.
The Leaders of Churches and Nations - for their words and deeds (hopefully honest) which support our freedoms and our democratic system of self-governance.


4.  Self
for good health,
for the means to live a reasonably comfortable life,
for the courage and energy to go back to work (if needed),
for a brain that works most of the time

*****************

Some thoughts

I'm enjoying the "time off" of the last few days when Chad is away in Palm Springs, and I'm here alone.

Strange dream last night:  Some (not all) of my significant others were preparing to move into a house (Ed Ross' house?) with me as my roommates.  Steve Morris rode in on a garden edger, and began edging the garden.  He commented that the floors are usually cleaned BEFORE the roommates move in.  I excused myself by reminding him that we had been involved in ______ (a show?) for 2 days, so it could not have been done.  Another "resident" was my former roommate, and another was a combination of Michael (Ed Ross' new lover) and Kent Frogley (Bill Laursen's lover)..... both tall, dark & handsome - I liked having them living with me.  Jim Davidson was also living there, but I didn't interact with him in this dream.

Dream places & dream spaces & dream faces.

Last night's dream was happy, or at least calm.  Not troubling.  I had a presence that made me feel comfortable with myself.

20200216 Quote from movie D-Train

Watched several movies today, one of which was called "D-Train" with Jack Black and (the dreamy) James Marsden.  They have sex in the movie, which I found to be unbelievable & amazing.

But at the very end of the movie, Dan (Jack Black) quotes Oprah Winfrey:

BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE, AND YOU'LL END UP HAVING MORE.
IF YOU CONCENTRATE ON WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE, YOU WILL NEVER, EVER HAVE ENOUGH.

I can easily LIST what I DO HAVE.  I've done that many times throughout my life.  Sometimes I've written them down, but mostly I've just thought about it.

But the advice is to CONCENTRATE ON and BE GRATEFUL FOR what I DO HAVE.  That's more than just thinking about it, or just making a list, and then possibly forgetting it.

I don't forget everything, but I do "lapse" a lot.... I don't do the GRATITUDE REVIEW that I learned from LDS Church, from teachers, from Dr. Pruitt.

So rather than resume my "SLLLAVERS" routine (which would also be a good idea), I will replace my morning routing - for now - with a GRATITUDE REVIEW.

I'll start it tonight, and then I'll do it again tomorrow morning, and every morning.

GRATITUDE REVIEW

1.  Family:
Joe - for his enthusiasm & entreprenneural spirit.
Chrissy - for her level-headedness and willingness to work.
Ada - for her happy dancing
Ethan - for his intellectual pursuits
Elliot - for his enthusiasm for music and sports
Oliver - for his frank assessment of what is real
Lisa - for her eneregy and enthusiasm and high achievement
Rodney - for his patience and level-headedness
Lyla - for her many talents, including piano, dance, drama, and for her patience
Eli - for his sensitivity and excitement about his toys
Cub - for his cuteness and smile
Teresa - for her bewildering willingness to still love me
Other relatives - for so many reasons for all of them.
Mom - for teaching me how to pray
2.  Friends:
David - for his patient friendship and love
Jeannie - for her long-suffering willingness to love David
Dr. Pruitt - for his life lessons, such as this one:  GRATITUDE REVIEW
George - for his undying enthusiasm for learning, for being helpful to others, and his inspirational living
Marie - for her undying fight with cancer, and her achievement ($) with which she is so generous.
Eric & Arno - for their life-long friendship
Woody & Emily - for their heroic efforts in facing Emily's debilitating illness
The "Singles" - for their fights against the difficult challenges of their lives.
3.  Groups:
Gamofites - for the chance to learn how to better deal with being a gay mormon father.
Lavender Effect - for the chance to learn about non-profits, foundations, and fund-raising
Other Friends - for the love, friendship & associations I share with so many people in my life.
The Leaders of Churches and Nations - for their words and deeds (hopefully honest) which support our freedoms and our democratic system of self-governance.


4.  Self
for good health,
for the means to live a reasonably good life,
for the courage and energy to go back to work (if needed),
for a brain that works most of the time