How do I cope with feelings that result from events outside my control?
They are not outside my FOCUS. I'm focused on the remainder of my career. I'm focused on what I'll be doing if/when David's call comes. I'm choosing to focus on these.
But his call coming or not coming is outside my control.
So since it's been over 2 years, I can look back and see a pattern of swinging back and forth between hope and depression.
So now, I'm mostly in a hope mode. David has said the deal is "DONE" - and this was not his word, but that of someone who is negotiating the deal. As a result, the money was to begin flowing 5 days ago. But it did not.
Since THEN, another email has been forwarded to me by David which indicates that initial funds will be distributed by mid-week next week (i.e., Wednesday, December 9th), and that they will be followed soon afterwards by the rest of the huge sums expected.
Sigh.
I dare believe, but I also have come to expect to continue vacillating between hope and depression.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to enjoy the holidays. It's not easy.
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