20190703 SAVERS for WEDNESDAY

SILENCE

Did 60 seconds of attempting to block out all sounds, sights, and thoughts.  Did better today.

AFFIRMATIONS

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
4. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
5. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
6. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
7. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
8. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.

Also said aloud for 60 seconds.

VISUALIZATION

I AM A SAFE AND COURTEOUS DRIVER.

EXERCISE

Did my base-70 routine for a Wednesday:

1. ankle/wrist circles 70
2. toe/finger stretches 70
3. bicycle crunches 70
4. shoulder rolls 70
5. inversion table 3 70-second sets
6. push-ups 70

(struggled with the last few push-ups, so I did one extra)

READING, WRITING

Read for 60 seconds in SAPIENS by Yuval Noah Harari.  He says  that in the time of Hammurabi, his code established society in 2 genders & 3 classes (superior, commoner, slave).  He assigned values to each, in silver sheckles.  When all were cooperative, they were able to live, provide food, provide security, and even expand their empire.  Hammurabi believed that this "order" was established by the gods, through him.

Harari rightly says that the values and punishments assigned to the classes & genders seem strange and unjust to us today:  they favored the superiors and the males.

Today, feminists would have NONE of this!!

*********

This morning, after 2+ weeks of silence from David, I received a text, asking for a talk later this morning.

I had gone through the usual anger and frustration about David's handling of me during this "mine project" process.  I mean, I called him, I called Jeannie, I texted him a few times...... and nothing.  No response.  Not even a "I can't talk right now" text.

So what am I to think this morning?  A couple thoughts:

• If DT had any actual MONEY news, he would CALL (as he has promised to do countless times)
• If DT wants to update me, with no real progress, then it can wait.  If this is the case, I do not want to go down the path of "that's great, David!" and "I can wait a little longer," etc.  It's too emotionally draining on me.
• I have an image of DT inside a warm house, and me outside in the muddy darkness looking in (when he calls); he has the shades open, but I have no way of going inside.  He says, "Look at what we're going to have soon."  I say, "Yes, I see it.  Looks great!"  But after a while, I realize that the shades are closed, and thjere is nothing to see.  I look away, and there is nothing but darkness, cold, and endless mud.  I stand immobilized, not knowing what to do.  In a few weeks, or a month, I'll look again and see that the shades are open, and DT is inside, "welcoming me" to what the future might bring.  BIG *SIGH*
• Of course, the image above does not describe my entire life.  I have wonderful kids and grandkids.  I have a job, a place to live, enough to eat, George who loves me...... I have good health.  I have many things to be grateful for.  So I try to avoid going back to the David Dilemma.