20250814 SLLLAVERS FOR THURSDAY - NOT D$-DAY, AND I, KEN TAYLOR, ALREADY HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED!!!!!!!

 I'm really trying to hold on.

SPEED DAY

BIOHACK

1. Brisk walk
2. Dark chocolate
3. Sit up straight
4. Write w/left hand
5. Blueberries
6. New word
7. →Visualize improved day: 2-meal day: 1) ; 2)
8. White noise - 10 min
9. Sniff to ￬ stress
10. Write 1 thing grateful for

RECORD

1. Brisk walk
2. ✔Dark chocolate
3. ✔Sit up straight
4. ✔Write w/left hand
5. ✔Blueberries
6. New word
7. →Visualize improved day: 2-meal day: 1)✔C+S ; 2)
8. White noise - 10 min
9. Sniff to ￬ stress
10. Write 1 thing grateful for

**********

SILENCE

Tried to silence brain for 80 seconds;  minimal success.

LLL - BHL

Live.  Laugh.  Love.

Bless.  Heal.  Love.

AFFIRMATIONS

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a kind and loving human being.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a kind and loving human being.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a kind and loving human being.

Also said aloud for 80 seconds.

1. I, Ken Taylor, already have everything I need.
2. I, Ken Taylor, already have everything I need.
3. I, Ken Taylor, already have everything I need.

Also said aloud for 80 seconds.

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a confident pianist.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a confident pianist.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a confident pianist.

Also said aloud for 80 seconds.

VISUALIZATION

201  Today's weight  (THAT IS REMARKABLE, given all the extra food I ate yesterday, combined with no significant stretching or exercise!!!!!!!0

I visualize weighing less tomorrow.

EXERCISE

(MADE BED)

R. KIPLING WROTE:

"And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the will which says to them 'HOLD ON!' "

READING, WRITING

**********************

HOLD ON TO WHAT???????

I've botched my academic career.

I've botched my professional career.

I've botched my hetero & homosexual relationships (except for GG, I think).

I've botched my parental responsibilities (not completely)

I've botched my exercise routine.

I've botched my self-education efforts.

I've botched my piano practicing.

All I do well is fucking MAKE MY BED.

So HOLD ON TO WHAT?  TO MAKING MY BED????????

I suppose so, if Kipling is right.

But there is little to nothing in me, and the will to hold on is fading.

A note on "D$-DAY" not being today, or any prior day for 10+ years back:

There never will be a D$-DAY.  I need to accept that.