20161202 WRITINGS & PLANNING

If nothing else, I can at least write about what I'm doing today.

1.  Routine done (yay)
2.  Breakfast
3.  Deposit checks, pay bills (rent, 10533 taxes)
4.  Prostate therapy
5.  Lunch
6.  Drive to LA - tee shirts - deposit
7.  Dinner
8.  TV
9.  Sleep

In ALL THIS........ I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REEEEEEEEEEEEEEELY hope I get the money call from DAVID.

I really do.

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Later.....
It's 6pm.
No call.
DAMN it!

I'm so tired of this "waiting" - maybe it's futile.

IF it comes through in the next few days/week, I will be asking myself "WHY did it have to come to my "hitting bottom" before it could come through????? WHY?????"

IF it does NOT come through before the end of December, I will be resigning myself to Plan B.  I never even wanted to ACKNOWLEDGE that there need be a "Plan B" - but I'm sensing that there WILL need to be.

Plan B:

1.  Keep working for HDA (and NOT telling Dr. P about this at ALL)
2.  On January 1st (or soon after), cash in about $40-$50K of my 401K at Fidelity.  Transfer balance to Abacus.
3.  Pay off all CC debt ($30K), keep remainder to pay taxes.
4.  Apply for refi at Wells Fargo & others on property, based on SSI & HDA income.
5.  After refi is complete (likely by March 1), look for another source of income.

AAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  I hate this SO MUCH!!!!!


(I wrote here this morning, and I thought what I wrote would REMAIN here.  But somehow..... I'm to blame, of course....... I deleted it.  DOUBLE DAMN IT!!!!!!!)

I don't know what I'm supposed to do.  My life is NOT working out.  I'm taking a mini-micro-step forward, and two steps back, with every effort.  GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

What next?????

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OK..... NOW the earlier this morning writing today is now BACK?

WTF??????????????????????

*sigh*

I'm ready to give up.

And Donald Daffy Duck Trump actually WON!