I could not bring myself to title this post "..... and OTHER SHIT"
But that's what it is.
It's Bob's birthday today, and he would have been 81 years old today, so he's been gone for 9 years.
He had dementia/Alzheimer's - I think.
Anyway, I'm more like him than I'm like any other of my brothers, so it scares me to think I'll have a similar path toward death.
I'm just not smart. I have thought I was smart over the years, but yesterday's experience with Dr. Pruitt tells me that I'm not.
He was drunk, granted. But that doesn't mean he wasn't telling the truth. He told me I might have "cognitive loss."
That's news to me. Google says that it could be a precursor to dementia & Alzheimers. Oh well.
I AM smart about some things. I know that.
But when I read or listen to exposes about life (philosophy, history, religion, etc.), the messages don't sink in much. I have to go over them 3-4 times..... not to review & opine, but simply to assimilate the messages.
Why?????? I'm not a good reader, or I would have already read all my books. I thought I'd teach myself to speed read. The podcasters (Ross & Carrie) say that "speed reading" is something of a hype or hoax. I believe that they say (if I remember correctly) that we're all readers at the speed that's comfortable for us. Whatever.
I've noticed that other people, even people who I consider "dumber than I am," will not have to read something more than once to "get it." Dr. Pruitt gives me something to read, and he does not allow me to complete it, let alone contemplate it.
Dr. Pruitt once said that during his early educational years, he had someone (a mentor?) who taught him how to think. And how to read.
I had no such person. I was essentially alone, trying to keep up, trying to teach myself how to read faster, and how to assimilate the messages. I would reason that each word I was reading was chosen for a purpose, and that each sentence had a purpose. And each paragraph. I would parse the sentences, changing them to outline form, so that I might..... MIGHT...... retain the message longer. Long enough to make it useful.
When others discuss literature, they'll often recall reading things in High School or college, and they'll mention the name of the book, the author, the characters, AND what they thought of the writing, AND whether they LIKE the author's work, AND whether they think it has relevance to some issue today.
WHAT????????
I can barely recall which Shakespeare plays I read in High School.
I was not into it all. I think I DID appreciate a lot of it. But I was always saying (subconsciously, perhaps) that THIS (i.e., my educational pursuits) was temporary. IF I ever need this information later on, I can LOOK IT UP. I need not memorize it.
Some things have stayed with me. But apparently those things are of small import in today's life.... mine or my surrounding fellow human beings' lives.
And some have said "You have a good memory" to me. HA!
Dr. Pruitt also said I was "forgetful" and that I had a poor memory. He's right. I was careless about his Curriculum Vita (resume). I left 2 typos in before printing, and HE caught them. He claims that I have some mental problem since I would not otherwise have been so careless.
I was frankly HORRIFIED when I saw the errors, but I kept that to myself.
During an earlier episode with Dr. Pruitt (I'll call it the "keys episode"), I told him that I felt even more bad about having left the keys on the dining room table (they were supposed to be in his dresser bowl, or handed to him). He responded by saying "so do I" and later by saying, "Why don't you just apologize for your error, and tell me you won't do it again?" OK, he wants an apology.
So THIS time (i.e., the "typos episode"), I did just that. I apologized, and said I'd be more careful next time. But ...... guess what! Dr. Pruitt did not accept that as being a correct response. He said, "I'm not looking for an apology. I want to know why you did it." (owtte) So then he launched into the idea that I might have "cognitive loss." He said if I did, he'd like to help me with it. I denied that there was anything wrong with my mental capacity or processes. But I don't know for sure, of course.
I don't like to admit to being weak, or flawed.
So, since he was drunk, I decided to "humor him" and just let him "ride it out" until he was himself again.
Wow! This is certainly NOT what I want to be doing now. I expected to be gone 2+ years ago! But I'm still there, because I still have hope for David's Deal coming through. When/if it does, I can exit Dr. Pruitt's life with another reason to leave than "I CAN'T STAND BEING HERE ANY LONGER."
So, I'll wait for David's call. Today.
I, Ken Taylor, attract wealth TODAY.
Let's hope so.
Later.....
It's 3:30 here - 4:30 in SLC, and LATE NIGHT in Europe. So... no word again today.
I'm unable to continue this ...... WHATEVER. I was going to say charade. but it's just plain undefinable.
so now, I'm asking my friend Barrett to look at my 401K, and to tell me how to take $$ out, so I an pay off CC bills, so I can qualify for a refi loan on my house, so I don't lose it.
my dreams of an easy life (financially) are gone.
And I have to think about continuing to work for Dr. Pruitt, for probably about 3-4 months more. I don't think I can take him longer than that.
*sigh*
I had a long talk with David, who says "next week,' he's sure, will be the time when the money starts rolling.
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