20190619 SAVERS for WEDNESDAY

WHAT THE HELL DO I CARE ANYMORE?????

SILENCE

Tried to silence my brain for 60 seconds; but I'm mostly empty-headed anyway.

AFFIRMATIONS

1. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
2. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
3. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
4. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
5. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
6. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
7. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
8. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.
9. I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being.

Also said aloud for 60 seconds.

VISUALIZATION

I AM A SAFE AND COURTEOUS DRIVER.

EXERCISE

Did my full base-70 routine

1. ankle/wrist circles 70
2. toe/finger stretches 70
3. bicycle crunches 70
4. shoulder rolls 70
5. inversion table 3 70-second sets
6. push-ups 70

READING, WRITING

Read 60 seconds in THE FOUR AGREEMENTS by Don Miguel Ruiz.  He says I should not take ANYTHING personally.  But as I read, I realized that he was talking about messages we receive from OTHERS.  Other Human Beings.  God.

In contrast to that, I'm dealing with messages I send to myself.  I say, "I'm a place holder," or "I'm so stupid," or "Why doesn't God talk to me?" or "Why do I even care?"

I suppose it means that I'm depressed or something.

Let's see.  Today is the day AFTER I was hoping would ne "D-DAY" (David Day, or Decision Day).  But I did not hear from David ALL DAY.

So, should I take that personally?  According to Ruiz, I should not.

It's coming up on 5 years now.  In that time, I've struggled with

1. Not hearing from David when I expected to (based on what he told me)
2. Hearing from David, but there was a postponement of job offer.
3. Blaming myself (on a cosmic level) for being in this situation.

*sigh*

I'm not sure how beneficial it is to go over and over all this.

I changed my Affirmations today.  

BEFORE:  "I, Ken Taylor, am a loving, knowledgeable and professional philanthropic foundation administrator."

AFTER:  "I, Ken Taylor, am a loving human being."

*sigh*