20161116 WRITING FOR TODAY

Well, I am trying to figure out IF my affirmations (started today) & routine (3rd day in a row) are going to really make any difference.

I feel a bit better, both physically, and mentally (for having achieved this much, thus far).  But is it a significant difference?

Physically, I'm doing several things:

1. Fighting the aging process
2. Getting back to being fit (not a specific, just a sort of "zone")
3. Being aware of my body, and watching for possible onsets of disease (this is mostly skin things, but I like to "take inventory" of my entire body and focus for a few moments on each organ, on each system, on each sense.  I don't know if it really does any good, but at least I'm aware of my actually body, rather than just letting it be as it is, or as it is to become)

Emotionally, I'm more stable.  HOWEVER............. When I went to the kitchen, Chad had been there, and left a glass bowl to dry on the counter.  That's fine, except that I prefer to wash the washable items in the dishwasher, and whenever possible, to not leave them out (when they can become dirty from the air, etc.).  So Chad announced that the bowl was clean, and I didn't have to put it into the dishwasher.  I replied that I needed the counter space, and that the dishwasher would sterilize it better.  He did not respond.  

Another issue I have with him is that when I'm in the kitchen doing something, he comes right in and does what he has to do.  He's large, the kitchen is small, and what he begins doing often prevents me from continuing to do what I'm doing.   My response is to leave the kitchen and say, "OK, I'll wait till your done" with the hope that he'll realize how inappropriate he is being.  But I doubt it will help - it hasn't for the last 2 years.  Luckily, we're not both often in the kitchen at the same time.  But it still bothers me that he would act that way. 

So, I'm wondering how come I have such an issue with this.  On a day when I'm starting to CHANGE.  No, I did not include Chad in my "close friends" category (in my affirmations).  Maybe I should.  If I did, then I might not be inclined to respond to him the way I did this morning.

Well, I've belabored a minor incident too much.  Now I need to leave for work.  I need to include the other drivers on the road, and Dr. Pruitt, and all the admin & residents at Adams Board & Care.

O&O for now.

Later (8pm),

I'm so PISSED!  Dr. Pruitt actually tried to tell me how I should reply when he points out errors I've made.  I says, ISMW, "Apologize and say you'll never let it happen again."  That, he says, would be a more mature, and less emotional response.

He summarily dismissed my contention that I'd asked him for the DX number clarifications many times, a long time ago - he says "that never happened."

HA!

I so want to tell him off.  But I can't since David's Deal has still not come through, and until it does, I can't afford to be without work.

This really sucks.

I might well have quit today.  But here're my thoughts:

1.  If he was so upset at me, he should have fired me.  But he did not.
2.  He must feel some responsibility for these errors.

Damn.

Later (10:55 pm),

Nothing's feeling good now.  I'm going to sleep.  Maybe things will look better tomorrow, but I doubt it.

Bah!