It's 10 pm, and I've DONE my routine, including affirmations, for tomorrow.
I hope I can fall asleep fast, so I can get the full 6 hours I need - 10p to 4a.
O & O
Later (at 11:45 pm, after travelling most of the day from LA to St. George, UT)
I'm in a twin bed alone.
My grandchildren are .... something. I'm disappointed that they don't show love more openly. But since we arrived at the condo where we'll be staying for 4 days.....
Ada has been focused on Lyla, and Lyla on Ada. They haven't paid ANY attention to me., in spite of my attempts to hug them, to say "I love you," = even to say goodnight.
Ethan was supposed to sleep in the other twin bed here in my room, but has left to sleep in Ada & Lyla's room, on the floor. He's polite, but not interested in relating to me.
Elliot is the most friendly, but is still pretty distant. I have more hope for him & me to relate.
Oliver is not feeling well, but still gave me a smile earlier, so there's that.
Eli told me he didn't want to turn the lights off, even though I told him they hurt my eyes. He said, in front of his dad, "Papa's mean to me sometimes." That was pretty devastating, since I'd spent the most time with him, and we - I thought - had a good relationship.
And then there's Cubby Caleb Kenneth - my namesake. He smiles at me, but then, he smiles at EVERYbodya.
I guess I need to work on being niced, if I want to have a loving relationship with my grandchi8ldren.
Dammit. I thought I was really doing better than this.
So, I'm glad I'm alone, and can write this without disturbing anyone else.
O&O for the day.
No comments:
Post a Comment