20161118 WRITINGS FOR TODAY

Amazingly, I drove to San Clemente last night, and went to bed.  I had a difficult night.  I thought I might have a cold, but apparently it was allergies.

The sinus draining kept me coughing, which made me eventually give up on wearing my CPAP mask, and that kept me awake.  And that meant more trips to the bathroom.

In spite of that, I woke up at around 6 am and did my routine.  AMAZING!
Now I'm sitting with Eli playing with his trains, while I figure out how to write & watch him & sleep simultaneously.

Later,

I'm in the lowest funk I've ever been in.  I can't stand this much longer.

Lyla and Eli are acting like little babies.  Joe is doing well, finally had time to call me, but the kids were distracting, and then Joe had to go.  Grrrrrrrrr.

No call from David, even after he said he'd call to just call - sometime this week.  No call.  It's Friday.  No word.  Nothing.

HDA is a mess, and my efforts to fix it go unheeded and unrecognized.  In fact, I'm blamed for inconsistencies that I thought were inconsequential, based on earlier billings.  And who am I to change the numbers?  Not qualified, and not authorized.

At least we submitted the corrected billings.  FINALLY.

And now I'm "caught" here in San Clemente, where it's supposed to be nice, but it's FREEZING, and I don't know how to turn up the temperature in this house.

And the kids want to be outside selling "nice cards" on the curb.  And they are NOT freezing out there, and I have to watch them, constantly fearing that they'll run into the street.

And I'm in charge, but I get "mom lets me do this" from Lyla.  And when I insist we go inside, Eli says, "I won't say I love you anymore."

And now my angst is so real, I don't know how to deal with it.

Rodney said he'd know when he'll be home by 5pm, and it's now 5:30, and no word.

All this trauma will likely be abated when he comes home and we deal with dinner, etc.

But for now, life SUCKS!

Rodney won't be home til 6:30.  Not sure what I should do til then.  Try & cope with stuff, I guess.

Oh well.

A bit later,

Why do I feel so BAD right now??  I'm such a crab with the kids.  And I'm trying to listen to the Skeptics Guide.  I really do HATE this.